Settling Down

#216: Down, girl.

Sometimes I wonder if weddings really are for the couple... or for the people around them.

I've actually gone from dreaming of a wedding ceremony at Shark Island (here at Sydney Harbour), to somewhere by the sea in the Philippines, to overlooking Taal lake... to agreeing to have it somewhere quite...uhm... normal. I don't know if it's my fierce innate opposition to being common that's unsettling me or just the niggling question, "why do I have to settle?"

Marriage is often referred to as "settling down." I knew what that meant. It means you're done with all the looking and hunting (for guys) and beating down countless of suitors (for girls... who look like Liz Hurley). You've found the one you want to build a home and a family with. You're out of the race. You're settling down.

But I didn't know it had another dimension to it - 'settling' on less-than-the-ideal (in this case, not having a ceremony by the water) so that the number of attendees are maximized... so that their hassles are minimized... so that their comfort and their satisfaction with the food are maximized... so that side comments are minimized...so that risks of having the whole event turned into a disaster by the rain are eliminated...and the returns are secured...

When I look at where we've decided to hold the ceremony, all I tell myself to keep from getting sad is that more guests will go home happy not having to drive for hours in their suits. Also that a really, really, really good stylist can still 'rescue' the venue from its sad state of 'average-ness.'

Sometimes I hear Darth Vader's voice.
"It is useless to resist."